Every so often a note will blow through my notifs telling me “Um actually the water is only radioactive at the bottom so it’s perfectly safe to swim here” yeah bitch swim in the reactor pool see if I fucking care
Kinda fucked up and nasty how vampires drink blood, imo. Like. Pepsi costs a dollar seventy five
Hospital
Not me I’m paying a dollar seventy five. At the hospital
I feel like we’re getting off topic
So is pepsi if you steal it?
Because it’s only a dollar seventy five
Why in God’s name would a vampire drink pepsi
Why would anyone drink Pepsi?
Huh?
That’s why I’m not a fan of the sexy vampire trope.
1. It’s overused and supports the current status quote of typical vampire supremacy:worshiping rich folk.
2. Vampires prey upon humans and therefore symbolize capitalists preying on the working class.
3. Werewolves are much sexier imo.
am I having a stroke????
you might want to go to the hospital then
I hear the Pepsi is cheaper there
Enter DAISY GRIME, a CLOWN, accompanied by FOOLS, HARLEQUINS, and JESTERS.
GRIME I say ‘tis dirty, wicked, foul, and dark – An opportunity both miss’d and scorn’d – That vampires of any shape or shade Would drink the blood of innocence most pure When Pepsi costs a dollar sev’nty five.
FIRST FOOL O lady, I must ask, and tell the truth: Wherever in this God’s green holy land Canst thou obtain this drink for such a fee? I’ve seen no less than fifty-five pence more.
GRIME A hospital, good sir.
SECOND FOOL (Does some figures) And might I ask Wherever in this land (of any hue) Is fellow who two dollar thirty pence Dost pay for si of Pep?
GRIME Not I, i’faith. I pay a mere two shillings short of two. And, once again, I pay in hospital.
CANADIAN JESTER I pay a hefty two and half for mine. But in my blood runs maple syrup, too.
GRIME O Jester fine, I pray thee, still thyself. Thou stray’st from this, our mode of speaking here.
FIRST FOOL But blood costs naught but time.
SECOND JESTER Aye, that is true; But sir, remember this in figuring: A Pepsi, too, is free, if stolen ‘tis.
FIRST FOOL I see, but – wait, another thought occurs. Wherefore, I ask thee, for what reason, sirs, Dost Lady Grime buy Pepsi from the house Of healing, birth, and death?
GRIME ‘Tis simple, friend. Allow me to explain to thee the cause. The Pepsi sold by those who follow in The footsteps of St. Luke, Evangelist Is sold for a mere dollar sev’nty five.
FIRST HARLEQUIN (Aside, to SECOND HARLEQUIN) Why wouldst a vampire drink Pepsi, then?
SECOND HARLEQUIN (Aside, to FIRST HARLEQUIN) Why wouldst an honest man drink Pepsi, sir?
FIRST FOOL A femboy, it would seem.
(There is general applause and agreement.)
GRIME O fool, a what?
Enter KONAHRIKS De’ACTIVAT EDZOZ ESQ., a SCHOLAR and WARD OF THE SKY.
WARD You see, my friends, this selfsame story tells The truth of why the incubus’s tale Is one that bears to no more to be declared. I’ll tell you all my reasons three. The first: The wealthy ghoul who drinks the common blood Is overused and stale, like molding bread; But also hangs upon the teller’s face A pallid, gasping idol worship mask. The second mark I tally here along: A vampire who sucks the blood from men Does hold up in the mind a mirror cold. This mirror shows that, far from fantasy, The vampire is real, ‘tis Elon Musk. The reason third is simple, clean, and pure: A werewolf’s just, like, sexier, my dudes.
(GRIME dances like a ferret. There is rejoicing.)
Exeunt.
Enter LARA, FELAGUND, and SHERLOCK, accompanied by the MANGO MERCHANT.
LARA I feel these words have struck me to my core. Is this, the world, collapsing to the ground Or is it just my weary, shaking soul?
FELAGUND ‘Twould seem my lady needs to see St. Luke.
SHERLOCK I’ve heard his fellows sell a Pepsi cheap.
(The MANGO MERCHANT offers a mango. All weep.)
Exeunt.
Alright that’s it, we’ve got the Shakespearan translation too, this post is complete now.
just a heads-up for those of you (like me) who have triggers surrounding animal harm/death, PETA has released a youtube ad with sounds of owls screaming in agony and goes into graphic descriptions of ‘mutilation’ and death. it’s unskippable.
if you see a black screen with audiowaves on it or hear owls/johns hopkins, get out of there
if you’re reblogging this to spread the word please remember not to tag it with the above triggers!! the people who have those tags blocked need to see this the most
So there’s this company in the UK, right. They brand themselves on producing fancy free range eggs and as part of that they have breed information written on the carton.
I did some snooping and found that every miracle news story of a supermarket egg hatching in the UK traced back to duck eggs, specifically the Braddock White duck eggs produced by this one company for the supermarket Waitrose.
And one day my mum brings them home and says “I bought these to eat but aren’t they the ones that hatch?”
And it’s spring and I’m hatching a ton this year so in they went.
On candling we had three fertile eggs! That’s a fertility of 50% - the same as shipped eggs from a breeder!
Hatch day comes and we get 2 ducklings, Curie and Becquerel. Sadly, Curie contracts duck septicaemia from an infected navel and doesn’t make it, but Becquerel is a healthy bird and growing like a weed.
I had put 4 breeder eggs in a week after them in case just one hatched, so Becque now has two Khaki Campbell cross friends called Tsuki and Hoshi so she isn’t lonely.
And as of today’s 7am Quacking - Becque is a female! Which means she’s capable of laying eggs and therefore I have pirated a duck.
Babies don’t forget there’s an Etsy boycott from April 11-18 to protest the higher service fees recently instated for shop owners despite the fact that the company reported record profits last year. Etsy is usually one of my go-tos but I am absolutely going to stay off for the week. Without its vendors (many of whom are independent artists/creators) Etsy is literally nothing, and if these new policies are undermining their ability to stay on the site without risking their financial stability then they 100% deserve our support. No Etsy this week!!!
